Domestic abuse is far more common than originally thought, affecting over 1 in 5 families in Scotland, in one form or another. Although the majority of reported cases are instances of women being abused by their male partners, abuse can occur against the male partner, and also in same sex relationships.
Throughout Scotland different agencies have varied but similar definitions of Domestic Abuse, but as a guide, the definition given by Central Scotland Police is: Any form of physical, non-physical, or sexual abuse which takes place within the context of a close relationship, committed either in the home or elsewhere. In most cases this relationship will be between partners (named, co-habiting, or otherwise) or ex-partners.
As you can see this definition makes no distinction between genders, and also takes into account that abuse can occur outside the home.
ARE YOU BEING ABUSED BY YOUR PARTNER
You may be living a life of abuse, but being so sheltered from the outside that you have either grown to accept a particular type of behaviour, or in fact do not realise you are a victim. Here are some things someone close to you could be doing to you:
- hitting
- threatening
- humiliating
- forced sex
- threatening your children
- abusing your children
- destroying possessions
- ridiculing your beliefs
- deliberately keeping you financially insecure
- abusing you emotionally
- accusing you of being unfaithful
- isolating you from friends and family
- using contact with the children to abuse you or them.
Any of these can lead to feeling: frightened, insecure, degraded, unable to make even basic decisions, trapped. These are just some of the symptoms which may help you realise you could be a victim of domestic abuse.
| THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC ABUSE |
WHAT CAN YOU DO
It is not always easy to accept that a close partner is abusing you and in some cases prepared to commit a deliberate criminal act against you. You must first accept that the only person to blame for domestic abuse is the person committing it. There is no excuse. You are the victim and you do not have to put up with domestic abuse.
The nature of the abuse will often dictate who you will seek help from. However here are some guidelines.
If you have been assaulted:
- Call the Police.
Always remember assault is a criminal offence. - Get medical attention, even if the injuries are slight, and don’t be afraid to tell the doctor how you received any injuries. These medical records may be used as evidence should you decide to take legal action.
- Contact a specialist support organisation. For a list click here.
If you have been raped or sexually assaulted:
- Call the Police.
Rape and sexual assault are crimes, even within a marriage or relationship. - Get medical attention.
- Contact one of the specialist agencies.
You may already be living in a relationship and suffering domestic abuse, but are scared to make a move. There are many reasons why you stay, despite the abuse. It may be because of the effect it will have on your children. It may be financial, with worries about how you are going to cope. It may be cultural, where the breakup of a marriage is offensive to parents who arranged a marriage in the first instance. Whatever your reasons for staying it is likely you have thought hard about leaving a relationship, or know that one day you may have to leave in an emergency. If you do, then it is wise to have a few things planned for that very emergency.
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DON`T FORGET THE CHILDREN
Often there is more than one victim in instances of Domestic abuse. Children are often the innocent victims of their parents behaviour, and there are now indications that links exist between domestic abuse and child abuse. Children who witness or experience Domestic Abuse can often suffer physically or emotionally. The effects of children can be varied but may include:
- Asthma, eczema, bedwetting, tiredness, emotional withdrawal.
- Anxiety, self harm, low self esteem, depression.
- Feelings of anger, guilt (despite it not being their fault), isolation, fear.
- Homelessness, poverty, disruption to schooling, social exclusion.
Just as you may need help and support so may your children. They may have witnessed or been part of a traumatic experience and they can suffer directly or indirectly. If you have been the victim of a physical assault there is a higher risk of your children also being assaulted.
Consider asking about support for them. There are specially trained people who can help children and young people to make sense of the whole situation, and come to come to terms with what has happened. They can be contacted through any of the support agencies listed.
THE LEGAL IMPLICATIONS
Assault is a criminal offence. The police treat domestic assault as any other assault and have special departments set up to deal with domestic abuse. They have dealt with hundreds of cases like yours so know how you and your children are suffering. They will respect your wishes and treat your case with tact, sympathy and confidentiality.
If you report the matter to the police your partner may be arrested and prosecuted through the courts. To do this you will require to give a statement to the police, as may your children if they are old enough. Your partner may appear at court and be granted bail with certain conditions imposed. These can offer some protection for you and your children by preventing the accused approaching you, or causing you fear and alarm through their actions. If a case goes to trial you may be asked to give evidence against your partner.
This is not necessarily the only solution. Through a solicitor you can apply to the Courts for a Matrimonial Interdict. This is a court order which imposes conditions, or prohibits your partner from doing anything set out in the order. Breach of any of the conditions can result in that person appearing in court to explain why. An interdict does not automatically carry a power of arrest. This is a special clause inserted into the interdict and is not automatic.
If you are being harassed then you can apply to the Sheriff Court for a non-harassment order against someone who has done something against you on two or more occasions which cause you fear and alarm. Breach of a non-harassment order is a criminal offence and carries a sentence of up to 5 years in jail or an unlimited fine.
You should consult your solicitor or the local courts about all the options available to you. Your local Citizens Advice Bureau is also a good place to obtain information.
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